Lauren Martin's blog

summer photo contest

This is summer

my travels are over. the cicadas are back in their trees, buzzing about the end of summer. i'll do a proper update soon.

slip'n'slide

The friendly skies

My trip to Kentucky and Florida is sneaking up on me. Todd and I leave on Monday the 23rd and return the following Monday. This leaves me with today and Saturday to pack and catproof the house. Sunday as previously mentioned, will be chock full of work related wonders which renders it completely useless to real life.

I'm starting to get that pre-travel anxiety. I don't know what I'll be doing while away, so how should I know what to pack? On my last trip I left a cool and damp NYC with a suitcase full of long sleeve shirts and light sweaters for layering only to arrive in KCMO to find that it was 80 and sunny. And I wore the same damned thing every day. I assume that going south will only bring me further into the delightful heat of summer. But am I going out? Do I need more than cropped pants and a tshirt? I know my parents like to spring fancy restaurants on us occasionally and there will be swimming for sure in Florida. But I hardly know Todd's mom and would like to impress her with my not slobbishness. She is a southern lady and always has earings that match her outfit. I wear the same silver pair with everything...

miu miu sandals of death

What I should be doing right now, instead of drinking coffee and fretting, is rooting through my closet and trying on outfits. Light, layered if needed, mix and match pieces that can work together, travel well, and are multi-functional. I have reason and sense... and I know how to pack in theory but something happens in practice. Like shopping for shoes. I'll go out looking for a pair of summer flats, maybe slides, and I'll walk home with a pair of MiuMiu platform slides with geisha curved soles, just to make walking more of a hazard for me.

Come on Lauren. Show some discipline. Get to work.

outbox

april shower

 
It's absolutely terrible here right now. it's almost 10 am and it's dark and dreary. I was woken up by thunder. The storm is so close that my floors shake whenever the thunder crashes. The rain is pelting the skylight and it sounds tinny- like little pebbles hitting a car roof.

I'm sitting around in my underwear drinking iced coffee, my cats curled up asleep at my feet.

I have to go get ready for work and wish desperately I could call out sick. Hell, I should call out well. I'm too good to go to work today, sorry...

But I only work today, friday, and sunday before I go away for a week. And then I will be getting an awful paycheck, half of what middling amount I usually get. Thank god the paycheck isn't needed for me to survive.

Sunday I have a mandatory meeting. I'll leave here at 6:45 am, and won't get home from work till 10pm. I hate mandatory meeting days. The meeting is from 7:30 till like 9. And then I have 2 hours to kill between work and the end of it. Not enough to go home. Just enough to have brunch with some coworkers. Though if no alcohol is served, it's hardly brunch. It's glorified breakfast.

not nice volume 2

Tales from the retail world...

I was standing on a ladder, getting some extra product out of storage yesterday when I hear a whiny voice behind me say, "I'm cleaning you out". So I get down slowly, carefully, with arms full of glass product and ask, "Is that a question or a statement" as it was not clear if it was either. This guy's reply, "Yes". So I peer at him quizzically and ask if he wants me to check to see if we have more of a particular tupperware-like item he seemed to be talking about.

This was not the right thing to do apparently. This awful little man turned into a petulant little child and said, "I don't like you. Go away. Your'e not being nice to me. Usually everyone here is very nice to me". Man, we get all sorts at the store. Mostly the sort that NEED plastic boxes for EVERYTHING to fix all of their problems.... But, trying to not actually be a twat, I stepped back from the man- giving him physical space while worrying if I'd actually done something awful to him. He looked like he was angry enough to cry. I apologized and asked if he'd like me to find someone else to work with him, (figured if everyone else is nice to mr.pansyass than maybe someone else could right my terrible wrongs). His reply as he pushed his cart away from me was that he was going to shop somewhere else.

Good riddance. Dick.

not nice volume 1

Picture this: It's 10:45 am on a weekday. You're standing on a subway platform. You got there by taking the local train, one of the only two trains that are scheduled to stop there. The platform has local on one side and express on the other. You decide to transfer to the express, so you walk to that side and stand amid steel columns that have service change notices plastered to them for as far as the eye can see. You wait. You wait some more. Another local train pulls up and you still continue to wait. The local is going to the same place as the express, it's just making more stops.

How long do you wait before you decide to either A. read the service change notices or B. just say fuckit! and hop back on the next local?

The other day I arrived just in time to see a local pull away from the station. I camped out in my regular spot to wait for the next train. The service change notices have been there since April, and according to the signs- will remain there till August something. The signs tell me that there is no express trains at that station weekdays between 10am and 4pm. Take the local two stops where the express will meet up with the line and change there if you want express service. I did not bother to read the signs that day because dude, I've been reading them out of boredom for months now and hey, I'm literate.

This BayRidge babe- all hair and nails and spray on tan was there when I got there. Angry, cursing, stomping around in her high heels and snapping her gum with fury. She kept leaning over the side of the platform, craning her neck hoping to see the light from the express train in the tunnel heading her way.  I know she's ignored the last local train. She continues to pace when finally about 7 minutes after I got there she let's out an audible, "Shit!" which somehow sounded different than her general expletives. From across the platform she looks at me and asks, "You read this?" a Lee-Press-On nail waggling one of the many signs.

Over the top of my Nintendo DS I looked at her and quietly answered, "Yah, they've been hanging there since April."

"You mean we've been waiting here for nothing? I have a graduation to go to! Fuck!"

Bitch lumped me with herself. I was waiting for the lcoal.  I can read. I DO read. I am obviously not nice or I'd have informed her that there is no express service. But If I informed every person who leaned against the signs instead of reading them that they're waiting for nothing, I'd be too busy to get on the next local train that arrived.
 

my obsession with cary grant

I was never a big fan of George Clooney. To tell the truth it took me years to warm up to him as an actor (I was obligated to watch the first few seasons of ER, and never got over the head-tilt-as-acting method he always used). But I've always liked older men, and let's face it, George is getting older, more distinguished, if you will. More like Cary Grant every day.... Cary Grant you say? Why yes, watch...
George Clooney and Cary Grant

QotD: Best Text Ever

What's the best text message you've ever gotten?

" Happy VD Slut "
received on valentines day, from a gay friend.

things I want

I would very much like, please:

• The Lomo fisheye, and the Holga... found here (both around 60 bucks, not super expensive)
  
• and specifically for family vacations to the beach I'd love this underwater camera  (it's inexpensive and uses film, but lets face it, I don't take THAT many family vacations to the beach!)
  
• The Yiddish Policemae's Union by Michael Chabon
• also Naughty Needles
  
• and maybe another Augusten Burroughs book or two
  

wow I thought I wanted more, really, but this is it, I think for the moment. A few new books to read, a couple of toy cameras. Not bad. Not really. Here I was thinking I wanted so much more.

iced coffee

So I got most of my to do list done yesterday. There were a few things I forgot to add to the list that I did do, and well, then there's that bag of laundry still sitting on the floor, folded and waiting for a good home.  I have no fear that it will get done, eventually. Either that or the cats will chew a large enough hole through the bag to liberate the clothing, and then drag each article out for use as their personal toy and/or bed.

I'm slowly working on minimizing the bad things in my life. I mean, everyone has the bad things they can't help, but then there's the bad things that they can. I figure it's finally time to do something about it. It's harder to do than it is to type though, because I have all of these bad habits I have to break.

And amusingly, regarding that Cary Grant movie I watched yesterday, Mr Lucky, Grant's character learns to knit (to help the war effort) and there are a string of guy-knitting jokes, as well as just non-gender-based-knitting jokes. Being the big dork that I am, I found it greatly funny. Also, damn, that Grant can even look sexy knitting.

mediocrity

today's to do list:

• go to target
• scoop kitty poop
• put away laundy
• dishes
• run to the market for dinner fixens
• make dinner
• groom kitties
• water plants

watching a cary grant movie won't help my cause at all.